S11, Ep. 13: Karen

Karen was adopted domestically at birth, and found by her birth family at 29, and entered reunion soon after. The experience of merging her past and present was both transformational and complex, bringing up emotions and questions she hadn’t fully confronted before. During this time, Karen sought therapy but struggled to find someone who truly understood the adoptee experience. Many available therapists were adoptive parents—well-intentioned, but not individuals she felt safe opening up to. This gap in adoptee-centered care inspired Karen to return to graduate school in her 40s to become the kind of therapist she needed: someone with lived experience, deep empathy, and the tools to support others navigating the lifelong journey of adoption. Now, as an adoptee-competent therapist, Karen is committed to holding space for fellow adoptees as they explore identity, grief, belonging, and connection on their own terms.

S11, Ep. 12: Pete

Pete Droge is a critically acclaimed singer/songwriter based in Seattle, WA who rocketed to early stardom on the strength of his 1994 debut Necktie Second. The Los Angeles Times compared his songwriting to Bob Dylan and Neil Young while also earning similar praise from Rolling Stone and Boston Globe among many others, and within a year he was on the road supporting Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers. He has since released a series of well-received solo albums, composed a variety of works for film and television, and even appeared in Cameron Crowe’s Almost Famous.

Sixteen years ago, Pete Droge went looking for his birth mother; instead, he found her obituary. But rather than marking the end of the story, the discovery ultimately led him to reconnect with his surviving relatives and started a journey that would forever change his life and career. He explores it all with poetic grace on Fade Away Blue, a rich, revelatory sonic memoir that faces down doubt and despair with love, resilience, and commitment at every turn. The songs are bittersweet, balancing longing and gratitude in equal measure, and the arrangements are warm and inviting to match, with Droge's tender, comforting lyrics and easygoing, understated delivery.

Pete Droge

S11, Ep. 11: Bob

Bob Wilson an adoptee born in the early 1970s at the end of the Baby Scoop Era. During his childhood and young adulthood, he thought little about the fact that he was adopted. But after reading Ann Fessler’s groundbreaking book The Girls Who Went Away (2007) about adoption in mid-twentieth century America, he began the legal process of unsealing his adoption records and attempting to find his birthmother. He located and contacted his birthmother nearly two decades ago and has had a close relationship with her since then. In 2020, GeoHumanities published his essay “Relinquished,” a narrative of his birthmother’s fraught journey to surrender him for adoption and the legacy of that decision. “Relinquished” is a story of a birthmother and adoptee, but it also illuminates the history of adoption, abortion, and unplanned pregnancies in the decades before Roe v. Wade. He is currently associate professor of geography and the environment in the Maxwell School of Citizenship and Public Affairs at Syracuse University, where he teaches courses in historical geography, environmental history, and the environmental humanities.

S11, Ep. 10: Mee Ok

Mee Ok Icaro (pronounced “Mee Oak Ee-car-oh”), is a unique and powerful voice in the world of visionary medicine and personal growth. As a Sacred Medicine Advisor and Integration Specialist, Life Purpose Coach and Guide, Writer and Book Doula Mee Ok is dedicated to helping individuals heal and find their path in life. She integrates many teachings from a variety of traditions, from ancient to modern.

With a passion for writing and a talent for prose, Mee Ok is an award-winning stylist and poet. Her work has appeared in notable publications like the LA Times, Boston Globe Magazine, and Michael Pollan’s Trips Worth Telling anthology. She was even featured in Gabor Maté’s New York Times bestseller The Myth of Normal and the Netflix docuseries [Un]Well. With over a decade of experience working with ayahuasca and dieting seven master plants, Mee Ok is curing a near-fatal autoimmune disease, scleroderma, and is dedicated to helping others heal and recover their birthright of authenticity and truth.

Mee Ok holds a BA in Philosophy from Boston University and an MFA in Creative Nonfiction, and has studied the history of sexuality and medicine at Harvard. She currently partners with Shipibo healers to offer ayahuasca retreats in Peru. With a diverse set of passions, including racial and disability equity, adoptee advocacy, social justice, film, literature, doggies, and drag, Mee Ok is a curious soul with a wealth of knowledge and experience she loves to share. HoldingCompassionate.space

Mee Ok (pronounced "Mee Oak") 

Stay Current: Substack Newsletter

Professional Offerings: HoldingCompassionate.space

Personal Writing: Mee-ok.com

S11, Ep. 9: Simon

Simon Njoroge is an adopted person from Kenya. He has been involved in the child care reform agenda in Kenya in various capacities for more than a decade, including coordinating an adopted persons support group.

S11, Ep. 8: Barbara

Barbara was born in 1964, and although given up within the first week of life, she wasn’t ultimately adopted until she was 16 months old. She was never told why or where she was those first 16 months. While growing up, Barbara occasionally asked about her biological mother. Her adoptive mother told her that she would never be able to find her, as the records in New York State were sealed. Barbara accepted that as fact and never sought to look further. She lived with her adoptive family until she was 18 years old, and then her adoptive parents abruptly moved 1000 miles away. She had always had trouble fitting in at home and struggled socially, but when her adoptive parents left, those issues magnified, and she was left wondering more and more about her past. Until she married at 28 years old and contemplated having children, she really began to question her identity. Working for a financial firm in a Human Resources Department, Barbara managed her company’s blood drive. It was that day specifically when she gave serious thought to her own bloodlines. She randomly called a few agencies blindly that day and found that one of those agencies was definitely where she was adopted from. The agency representative shared a long list of non-identifying information with Barbara. With so much information in her grasp, it became impossible not to try and find her mother. And so began the long search for her biological mother. When she ultimately found her biological mother 2 years later, Barbara discovered that her mother lived only 20 blocks away from her when she was growing up and only a town apart when she was 30 years old and found her. That was the beginning of a long relationship that they still have today. She has met her biological father, as well as extended family. Barbara considers herself blessed. She has written a manuscript about finding her mother, and her mother, who was a professional editor in her career, has edited the entire work. So, it was a collaboration of sorts. What makes the story of finding her biological mother so compelling is the people and the clues that showed up during her search at just the right time that enabled her to find her family. Mother and daughter both feel that they were meant to reunite after all those years apart, and live less than a mile apart today.

S11, Ep. 7: Katherine

Katherine Allen McNally is an adoptee and a licensed therapist who specializes in working with adoptees and their adoptive families. She transitioned from a career in graphic design and advertising to pursue this path, driven by a deep personal commitment to supporting this unique population. Over the course of her work, she has encountered a wide spectrum of adoption narratives, including various forms of conception, gestation, birth, relinquishment, adoption, and survival. These experiences led her, along with a colleague, to develop a trauma healing model known as The TAG Method for Trauma Reprocessing and Integration.

At the heart of The TAG Method lies the adoption experience. Katherine is passionate about sharing this model and its insights with broader audiences. She believes that adoption represents a significant and often overlooked trauma—one that is visible yet rarely acknowledged. In her work, she explores how adoptees navigate attachment loss, the silent fear of being “not chosen” again, and the emotional impact often referred to as "the cloud." She also discusses the "three As" and how these themes influence the adoptee experience.

Katherine shares how clients access these deep-seated pains and begin the process of healing, ultimately freeing themselves from a trauma they never asked to carry. She also offers personal reflections from her own healing journey, enriching her professional insights with lived experience.

S11, Ep. 6: Theresa

Theresa Werba was born in 1962 in New York City to a 17-year-old former
prostitute. She was given up for adoption at three months old. She was placed with a loving foster mother until she was 13 months old, when she was taken away for technical reasons and placed with an older couple with ties to a New Age religious cult.

She endured a bizarre childhood of emotional and physical abuse and left home
at the age of 15. She was disinherited by both adoptive parents upon their deaths.
Theresa found her birth mother in 1984 and has had a positive relationship with
her for over 40 years. Theresa was told a certain individual was her biological father and legally assumed his last name for over 30 years. In 2020, Theresa was able to locate her biological father through DNA testing via two half-sisters. He was a completely different person from the one her mother remembered. Unfortunately, he died in 2019. He never knew that Theresa existed. Theresa legally changed her last name to his in 2020 and is exceedingly happy with her newly harmonized genetic identity.

Theresa is an author, poet, and singer. Her book, When Adoption Fails: Abuse,
Autism, and The Search for My Identity, describes the unusual and peculiar life she had growing up in an abusive adoptive home with undiagnosed autism, and the search for, and discovery of both her biological parents. Find Theresa at www.theresawerba.com and on social media @thesonnetqueen.

S11, Ep. 5: Don

Like many people who went through the foster care system, Don Anderson was really curious about his roots. He started doing some research and realized his biological aunt on his mother’s side was living less than three miles away. His wife convinced him to introduce himself. She immediately recognized him and told him he looked like his mother.

From there, Anderson met his biological mother, then started the research for his biological father. He ended up tracing his roots for generations, and now helps others trace their ancestry and find relatives. He’s written a book about his quest to find his parents.

S11, Ep. 4: Alejandra

Alejandra was adopted at five years old into a Mexican-American family. She had never sought her family of origin, but when they arrived unexpectedly, her inner strength was tested, and her spiritual growth began. 

S11, Ep. 3: Jacqueline

Jacqueline, now 63 and living in Cape Town, South Africa, was born in Nairobi, Kenya, in 1962, following a relationship between her English-born biological mother, a professional actress on contract to a theatre company in Nairobi, and her Welsh and Irish biological father, a radio announcer in Nairobi. Following Jacqueline's birth, and the abandonment of her and her biological mother by her biological father, her biological mother followed him to Zimbabwe, but he refused involvement or responsibility. At Jacqueline's biological mother's father's "pleading" with her to "keep the baby", she returned to her acting career, subjecting Jacqueline to 16 months of severe abuse and neglect, which resulted in her being adopted at 16 months in Zimbabwe. While her physical needs were very well met within her adoptive family, her emotional needs were neglected, her manifest trauma being strictly discouraged, and the emotional abuse was perpetuated. Following a lifetime of fear/anxiety, specifically relationship-related, and recurring severe despair/depression, Jacqueline's belief, and message to fellow adoptees and healthcare professionals working with adoption-related and general childhood trauma, is this: sometimes the trauma is too early, too severe and too prolonged for healing to be possible, but the cycle of abuse can be broken. Jacqueline lives the proof that acceptance, compassion, and forgiveness are possible. She has broken the cycles of neglect and abuse, evident in her relationship with her daughter and son, with whom she has a relationship of deep love, mutual respect, and much joy and care.

S11, Ep. 2: Sariah

Sariah is a Chinese Adoptee adopted by a White American Mormon family and recently left the Mormon faith to find herself and to find her birth family. 

S11, Ep. 1: Carol

Carol was born in Washington, DC, relinquished at birth in 1960, subsequently adopted in 1961 by a family who had adopted another daughter the year before.
She began her reunion in 2017 by finding out she was the baby sister of 3 half sisters, 2 full sisters, and her father by DNA.

S10, Ep. 12: Cameron Lee Small: The Adoptee’s Journey. Season 10 Finale

Cameron Lee Small, MS, LPCC, is a licensed clinical counselor, transracial adoptee, and mental health advocate based in Minneapolis, Minnesota. He was born in Korea and was relinquished into foster care at age three. He was then adopted in 1984 by a family in the United States. His private practice, Therapy Redeemed, specializes in the mental health needs of adoptees and their families wherever they may be in their adoption journey. His work has been featured in Christianity Today, the National Council for Adoption, and the Center for Adoption Support and Education.

S10, Ep. 11: Sandi

Sandi Morgan Caesar is a transnational adoptee. She was born Cristina Rodriguez in Panamá to a 14-year-old girl who parented her for most of her 1st year. Ultimately, she was placed for adoption by her maternal grandmother without the knowledge or consent of her first mother. Sandi was adopted by a Black US Air Force family stationed in Panamá at the time. She was naturalized as a US citizen and then brought to the US at 3 years old. It was about this time that she asked her mom why they didn't have the same face. She grew up in Dayton, Ohio, with older siblings (biological to her adoptive father). Although she thought finding family in Panamá would be impossible, Sandi reunited with her birthmother and maternal family in 2004. Sandi holds a B.S. degree in Human Development from Howard University, an M.S.W. from Indiana University, and has worked in child welfare most of her career.

S10, Ep. 10: Carol

Carol Hoeksema was born at the Salvation Army Evangeline Home for unwed mothers in Grand Rapids, Michigan, in 1957, where she stayed the first 13 days of her life before going to an unknown foster family arranged by Bethany Christian Services. At 3 months, she was given to her adoptive parents and raised in the Dutch immigrant community of Pella, Iowa. She always knew that she was adopted and was curious about her roots. At age 19, she started her search
by going to the adoption agency, and over the next 15 years, she was able to find and contact the families of both birth parents. After experiencing a secondary rejection by her mother, she found healing and belonging in doing genealogy research. In contrast, her late father’s family welcomed her with open arms. She has lived a rich life, full of family, friends, and adventures. A retired family physician, Carol lives with her husband on Camano Island, Washington. They
have 3 grown children and 4 grandchildren. In this interview, she tells the story of her adoption and search for her roots so that her descendants will know their history, too, and wants to give hope to others experiencing birth mother rejection.

S10, Ep. 9: Stephen

Born in 1963, Stephen Payne was five weeks old when his parents adopted him through the Volunteers of America. He grew up an only child in a loving family. At age three, he overheard his parents discussing his adoption with friends. His mother explained it to him in age-appropriate terms, which mostly satisfied his curiosity, yet occasionally left nagging questions.

That inner conflict may have affected his earliest days in school, where he struggled. A diagnosis of ADHD confirmed some of this inner turmoil. A portion of this, Stephen has since learned, was hereditary, possibly caused, too, by adoption. Plus, some cruel neighborhood children ridiculed him about his parentage. Yet 4th grade marked a shift.

Better study habits, unwavering support from family, and several kind teachers and librarians fueled dramatic improvement in his grades, then and later. Nonetheless, it hid his insecurities and anxiety, starting a vicious cycle: an obsession with high grades, which led, inevitably, to more insecurity and anxiety, all in the name of approval. 

In 1988 or ‘89, he watched a talk show highlighting a biological mother’s search for her daughter. Haunted by their story, Stephen declared to his mother, “I think I want to look for my biological parents.” Teary-eyed, she gladly offered her and his dad’s help. Days afterward, she located his final decree of adoption and his birth name. Thus began his search. Plus, he witnessed, anew, his parents’ undying devotion to him and eventually, his and their unknown, marvelous connection…

S10, Ep. 8: Mary

Mary, a seventh-generation Tennessean born in Memphis in 1986, was adopted and raised in Jackson, Tennessee, by a supportive family who encouraged her search for her biological relatives. In 2007, she connected with her birth mother, who had mistakenly identified the wrong man as Mary's father.  Then, in 2019, a "search angel" and a DNA match through Ancestry.com unexpectedly revealed her actual biological father and a previously unknown family. She has since developed relationships with these newfound blood relatives, while maintaining a connection with the family of the man her birth mother initially believed to be her father

S10, Ep. 7: Heather

Heather G. Marshall is an adoptee, author, speaker, and workshop facilitator. Her TED talk, “Letting Go of Expectations,” centers around her adoption and reunion. Her second novel, When the Ocean Flies, released in February 2024 (Vine Leaves Press). The novel is an adoptee-focused exploration of love and longing, of identity and belonging, and of healing from trauma. Heather was born in Leith, Scotland, in 1967, relinquished at birth, sent to foster care, and subsequently adopted in Scotland. She has been in reunion with her mother for twenty years, and was in reunion with her father for the last six years of his life. In her writing, Heather explores family, adoption, women (especially older ones), the natural environment, and how these intersect. When she isn’t writing, she likes to hike, travel, practice yoga and meditation, do a wee bit of knitting, and, of course, read. Originally from Scotland, Heather now lives in the United States. You can find out more about her at heathergmarshall.com.

S10, Ep. 6: Kate

You Don’t Know What Surprises You Will Find.

Kate was born at a Florence Crittenton home in Kansas City, MO, in 1970 and placed with her adoptive family at 9 days old. She always knew she was adopted and has always wanted to find her family of origin. This was finally made possible when Missouri changed its laws allowing adopted people access to their original birth certificates. She has been in reunion with her mother since 2018, meeting her in person and getting a life-changing hug in 2019. That hug was the first time she had a feeling of being home. Kate is also in reunion with her father’s family, who have been welcoming.

Reunion has been beautiful, messy, painful, liberating, and the most life-impacting thing Kate has ever experienced. Finding her story and learning about her people, though sometimes painful, has been incredibly grounding, and she now feels like a real person.

While finding family has been an overall positive experience, some of the stories have been quite difficult. Her father went on a shooting spree, killing three people, including two police officers, and wounding several more before taking his own life in Harrisonville, MO, in 1972. As luck would have it, she had a chance encounter with an author while visiting his grave for the first time. The author was doing research for a book he was writing about her father. This encounter was instrumental in helping Kate find healing, as it led to factual information about what happened that day in 1972, as well as connections with some of her father’s friends, giving her an understanding of the kind of person he was beyond the story he is most remembered for. 

Kate has been fortunate that her mother was willing to answer all of her questions, even though they were uncomfortable and seemed repetitive. This helped her to understand the decisions made by her grandparents. 

Had things turned out differently and Kate remained with her natural parents, her name would have been Lisa Simpson, which makes her giggle.