S10, Ep. 12: Cameron Lee Small: The Adoptee’s Journey. Season 10 Finale

Cameron Lee Small, MS, LPCC, is a licensed clinical counselor, transracial adoptee, and mental health advocate based in Minneapolis, Minnesota. He was born in Korea and was relinquished into foster care at age three. He was then adopted in 1984 by a family in the United States. His private practice, Therapy Redeemed, specializes in the mental health needs of adoptees and their families wherever they may be in their adoption journey. His work has been featured in Christianity Today, the National Council for Adoption, and the Center for Adoption Support and Education.

S10, Ep. 11: Sandi

Sandi Morgan Caesar is a transnational adoptee. She was born Cristina Rodriguez in Panamá to a 14-year-old girl who parented her for most of her 1st year. Ultimately, she was placed for adoption by her maternal grandmother without the knowledge or consent of her first mother. Sandi was adopted by a Black US Air Force family stationed in Panamá at the time. She was naturalized as a US citizen and then brought to the US at 3 years old. It was about this time that she asked her mom why they didn't have the same face. She grew up in Dayton, Ohio, with older siblings (biological to her adoptive father). Although she thought finding family in Panamá would be impossible, Sandi reunited with her birthmother and maternal family in 2004. Sandi holds a B.S. degree in Human Development from Howard University, an M.S.W. from Indiana University, and has worked in child welfare most of her career.

S10, Ep. 10: Carol

Carol Hoeksema was born at the Salvation Army Evangeline Home for unwed mothers in Grand Rapids, Michigan, in 1957, where she stayed the first 13 days of her life before going to an unknown foster family arranged by Bethany Christian Services. At 3 months, she was given to her adoptive parents and raised in the Dutch immigrant community of Pella, Iowa. She always knew that she was adopted and was curious about her roots. At age 19, she started her search
by going to the adoption agency, and over the next 15 years, she was able to find and contact the families of both birth parents. After experiencing a secondary rejection by her mother, she found healing and belonging in doing genealogy research. In contrast, her late father’s family welcomed her with open arms. She has lived a rich life, full of family, friends, and adventures. A retired family physician, Carol lives with her husband on Camano Island, Washington. They
have 3 grown children and 4 grandchildren. In this interview, she tells the story of her adoption and search for her roots so that her descendants will know their history, too, and wants to give hope to others experiencing birth mother rejection.

S10, Ep. 9: Stephen

Born in 1963, Stephen Payne was five weeks old when his parents adopted him through the Volunteers of America. He grew up an only child in a loving family. At age three, he overheard his parents discussing his adoption with friends. His mother explained it to him in age-appropriate terms, which mostly satisfied his curiosity, yet occasionally left nagging questions.

That inner conflict may have affected his earliest days in school, where he struggled. A diagnosis of ADHD confirmed some of this inner turmoil. A portion of this, Stephen has since learned, was hereditary, possibly caused, too, by adoption. Plus, some cruel neighborhood children ridiculed him about his parentage. Yet 4th grade marked a shift.

Better study habits, unwavering support from family, and several kind teachers and librarians fueled dramatic improvement in his grades, then and later. Nonetheless, it hid his insecurities and anxiety, starting a vicious cycle: an obsession with high grades, which led, inevitably, to more insecurity and anxiety, all in the name of approval. 

In 1988 or ‘89, he watched a talk show highlighting a biological mother’s search for her daughter. Haunted by their story, Stephen declared to his mother, “I think I want to look for my biological parents.” Teary-eyed, she gladly offered her and his dad’s help. Days afterward, she located his final decree of adoption and his birth name. Thus began his search. Plus, he witnessed, anew, his parents’ undying devotion to him and eventually, his and their unknown, marvelous connection…

S10, Ep. 8: Mary

Mary, a seventh-generation Tennessean born in Memphis in 1986, was adopted and raised in Jackson, Tennessee, by a supportive family who encouraged her search for her biological relatives. In 2007, she connected with her birth mother, who had mistakenly identified the wrong man as Mary's father.  Then, in 2019, a "search angel" and a DNA match through Ancestry.com unexpectedly revealed her actual biological father and a previously unknown family. She has since developed relationships with these newfound blood relatives, while maintaining a connection with the family of the man her birth mother initially believed to be her father

S10, Ep. 7: Heather

Heather G. Marshall is an adoptee, author, speaker, and workshop facilitator. Her TED talk, “Letting Go of Expectations,” centers around her adoption and reunion. Her second novel, When the Ocean Flies, released in February 2024 (Vine Leaves Press). The novel is an adoptee-focused exploration of love and longing, of identity and belonging, and of healing from trauma. Heather was born in Leith, Scotland, in 1967, relinquished at birth, sent to foster care, and subsequently adopted in Scotland. She has been in reunion with her mother for twenty years, and was in reunion with her father for the last six years of his life. In her writing, Heather explores family, adoption, women (especially older ones), the natural environment, and how these intersect. When she isn’t writing, she likes to hike, travel, practice yoga and meditation, do a wee bit of knitting, and, of course, read. Originally from Scotland, Heather now lives in the United States. You can find out more about her at heathergmarshall.com.

S10, Ep. 6: Kate

You Don’t Know What Surprises You Will Find.

Kate was born at a Florence Crittenton home in Kansas City, MO, in 1970 and placed with her adoptive family at 9 days old. She always knew she was adopted and has always wanted to find her family of origin. This was finally made possible when Missouri changed its laws allowing adopted people access to their original birth certificates. She has been in reunion with her mother since 2018, meeting her in person and getting a life-changing hug in 2019. That hug was the first time she had a feeling of being home. Kate is also in reunion with her father’s family, who have been welcoming.

Reunion has been beautiful, messy, painful, liberating, and the most life-impacting thing Kate has ever experienced. Finding her story and learning about her people, though sometimes painful, has been incredibly grounding, and she now feels like a real person.

While finding family has been an overall positive experience, some of the stories have been quite difficult. Her father went on a shooting spree, killing three people, including two police officers, and wounding several more before taking his own life in Harrisonville, MO, in 1972. As luck would have it, she had a chance encounter with an author while visiting his grave for the first time. The author was doing research for a book he was writing about her father. This encounter was instrumental in helping Kate find healing, as it led to factual information about what happened that day in 1972, as well as connections with some of her father’s friends, giving her an understanding of the kind of person he was beyond the story he is most remembered for. 

Kate has been fortunate that her mother was willing to answer all of her questions, even though they were uncomfortable and seemed repetitive. This helped her to understand the decisions made by her grandparents. 

Had things turned out differently and Kate remained with her natural parents, her name would have been Lisa Simpson, which makes her giggle.

S10, Ep. 5: Mike

Mike Brettmann was born in Des Moines, Iowa, in 1958 and adopted a few days later. He grew up on a small farm in Iowa with a brother who was adopted from another family. They were always told they were adopted, but it was never discussed. Mike joined the army after high school and served nearly 28 years on active duty. His uncle asked him to find the Brettmann family history while stationed in Germany. After tracing the Brettmann family in 1987, he wanted to find his roots. In 1999, he found his adoption papers and began a search for his birth parents, and in 2010, he connected with his birth mother. She gave him information about his birth father, who was not listed in the adoption papers, and they met in 2012. The reunion with his birth parents did not go well, but he was happy to learn his story and find some other relatives that he created a relationship with.

S10, Ep. 4: Ellianna

Ellianna was born prematurely in a county hospital in Portland, OR, in 1968. She had been relinquished at birth, so she stayed in the hospital alone for several weeks. Foster care stepped in for a week, and then she went to her adopted family, where there was another adopted child that was 2 years older. 

Ellianna moved around a lot as a child, and as an adopted child, this added to the feeling of not belonging anywhere. Adoption was not something talked about much in the home, but both children knew they were adopted.

At the age of 24, she met both of her birth parents and much extended family on both sides. This began the long, arduous journey of healing her wounds and finding where she belongs.

Ellianna moved in with her birth mother and grandmother one month after reunion and proceeded to start trying to find a way to fit into her newly forming identity. It has been a roller coaster ride of forging new families and dealing with the issues from the one she grew up in. No one could have prepared her for the long, winding road she has taken, but with it all, she has found peace and the belonging she desired.

S10, Ep. 3: Becky

Becky is a scientist, mother, wife, and baby scoop era adoptee who lives with her husband and biological daughter in Oregon. She was born in California, separated from her very young mother at birth, and adopted at 6 weeks by a married couple struggling to have their second biological child. Comfortably raised, she always knew she was adopted, special, and “chosen”. Her adoption was closed, and the birth certificate remains sealed.

In 1993, with the help of her adopted sister and a document listing her birth name that her adopted father had been given by accident, Becky found and contacted her birth mother, who welcomed her warmly. They have been in reunion since that time. The person thought to be her biological father reportedly struggled after serving in Vietnam, was difficult to find, and passed away before any contact was made. At peace with the understanding that she would never meet him, Becky was astonished when, in late 2023, a DNA match emerged indicating that a different person was her biological father and that he was alive. Becky located and met her actual biological father in early 2024.

Since the shocking revelation about her “new” father and the rewriting of the narrative around her birth, Becky has been exploring and questioning the dominant social paradigm around adoption. She now has a very different perspective about the nature of choice, reproductive equity, who is a worthy mother in our society, and basic rights around identity. Even though the fog had not yet lifted at the time of her daughter’s birth, Becky never considered adopting. Having a baby at the ripe old age of 42 is not always successful, but she knew “choosing” someone else’s child was not her solution.