Barbara: The Clues that Led to Self-Discovery
S11, Ep. 8: Barbara
Barbara was born in 1964, and although given up within the first week of life, she wasn’t ultimately adopted until she was 16 months old. She was never told why or where she was those first 16 months. While growing up, Barbara occasionally asked about her biological mother. Her adoptive mother told her that she would never be able to find her, as the records in New York State were sealed. Barbara accepted that as fact and never sought to look further. She lived with her adoptive family until she was 18 years old, and then her adoptive parents abruptly moved 1000 miles away. She had always had trouble fitting in at home and struggled socially, but when her adoptive parents left, those issues magnified, and she was left wondering more and more about her past. Until she married at 28 years old and contemplated having children, she really began to question her identity. Working for a financial firm in a Human Resources Department, Barbara managed her company’s blood drive. It was that day specifically when she gave serious thought to her own bloodlines. She randomly called a few agencies blindly that day and found that one of those agencies was definitely where she was adopted from. The agency representative shared a long list of non-identifying information with Barbara. With so much information in her grasp, it became impossible not to try and find her mother. And so began the long search for her biological mother. When she ultimately found her biological mother 2 years later, Barbara discovered that her mother lived only 20 blocks away from her when she was growing up and only a town apart when she was 30 years old and found her. That was the beginning of a long relationship that they still have today. She has met her biological father, as well as extended family. Barbara considers herself blessed. She has written a manuscript about finding her mother, and her mother, who was a professional editor in her career, has edited the entire work. So, it was a collaboration of sorts. What makes the story of finding her biological mother so compelling is the people and the clues that showed up during her search at just the right time that enabled her to find her family. Mother and daughter both feel that they were meant to reunite after all those years apart, and live less than a mile apart today.
Season 11: Adoptee Memoirs - books in order:
Practically Still a Virgin by Monica Hall
You Can't Get Rid of Me by Jesse Scott and Keri Ault
Unspoken by Liz Harvie
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RESOURCES for Adoptees:
S12F Helping Adoptees
Gregory Luce and Adoptees Rights Law
Fireside Adoptees Facebook Group
Dr. Liz Debetta: Migrating Toward Wholeness Movement
Moses Farrow - Trauma therapist and advocate
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline – 1-800-273-8255 OR Dial or Text 988.
Unraveling Adoption with Beth Syverson
Adoptees Connect with Pamela Karanova
Because She Was Adopted by Kristal Parke
Dear Amy, letters to Amy Coney Barrett. A project by Meika Rouda
