Adoption: The Making of Me: An Oral History of Adoptee Stories
On this podcast, two adult adoptees discuss all things adoption from the adoptee perspective.
Latest Episodes
S11, Ep. 27: Jane
S11, Ep. 27: Jane
Jane’s adoptive parents had only two weeks' notice of her arrival! At twelve days old, Jane was taken to her new family who lived on the Isle of Wight, an island off the south coast of England.
The children’s social worker was not best pleased when a file landed on her desk informing her of a privately arranged adoption, a ‘fait accompli’ of which she was openly very critical.
The year was 1964, and Jane reports always having felt very grateful that fate brought her and her wonderful parents together. Infertility following a bout of polio, which left her dad disabled and a paraplegic, had seemingly put paid to the couple’s dreams of having a family.
With very limited income and precarious health, the couple nevertheless provided a stable and loving home for Jane, sharing their faith, values, and commitment to always supporting each other through whatever life threw at them.
Jane was a quiet and unassuming child who enjoyed learning and was able to self-occupy. She enjoyed the uniqueness of her family setup but always yearned for a ‘ co- conspirator’ or playmate to get up to mischief with and unleash her playful side.
She married her childhood sweetheart, and they went on to have five children, enjoying the closeness of a busy family life with much support from Jane's adopted parents, who were very much adored and influential grandparents.
An unexpected health scare and major operation shortly before her 60th birthday prompted Jane to embark on a journey of therapy and an exploration and understanding of the wounds that the trauma of relinquishment leaves, with the lifelong impact of this on the adoptee's life.
Although Jane has had a very happy, blessed, and fulfilled life, these wounds are an integral part of who she is, and there will always be a sadness just underneath the surface, which rears its head at odd times but especially on Jane’s birthday.
S11, Ep. 26: Mary
Mary is a Baby Scoop Era adoptee born in 1965. She was not adopted until she was almost 8 months old, after being moved to a couple of foster homes. She was told she wasn’t “doing well” at the first, likely because they had too many children there. Raised in a small town by a conservative Catholic family with her brother—also adopted two years later—Mary and her brother always knew they were adopted.
She always felt a sense of disconnection—the “weird kid” who didn’t fit in—so searching was a natural byproduct of that. She began trying to find avenues to learn about her birth family as early as elementary school. She spent hours in libraries, scouring old newspapers and yearbooks. After trying every path she could over the years, thanks to DNA testing, social media, and stubbornness, she was finally able to find them and gain access to her original birth certificate and adoption papers in 2014, with mixed results. She began to realize how ingrained the sense of secrecy and shame still is 50 years later.
Understanding the trauma of adoption and inspired by Ann Fessler’s The Girls Who Went Away, Mary went on to make the Baby Scoop Era the topic of her doctoral dissertation, digging through archives and interviewing birth mothers, case workers, and others who had been involved in the process at the time. She has also been involved in drafting a bill and testifying in front of her state legislature, advocating for access of adult adoptees to their original birth certificates. Mary remains committed to advocating for adoptees and birth parents through research, education, and reform.
S11, Ep. 25: Jodi
Jodi is a Baby Scoop Era adoptee, born in Los Angeles, California, in 1966. For her, adoption has never been a single event but a lifelong journey of searching, questioning, and seeking understanding. She is now in reunion with her father, and both share a deep connection as artists. Jodi lives in Los Angeles with her family. Her story reflects the complexities of identity, family, and belonging, and she continues to honor both the losses and the connections that have shaped who she is today.
S11, Ep. 24: Mike
Mike Knox is a Los Angeles-based stand-up comedian, writer, actor, and performing artist whose work blends personal storytelling with observational humor. Originally from Pasadena, California, he was adopted at birth from White Memorial Hospital in Los Angeles. Mike Knox is the author of the books Vivien’s Rain, written about his daughter’s experience with epilepsy, and Straight Fish, and Isla Vista Halloween.
S11, Ep. 23: Recinda
Recinda is an artist, writer, and TikTok creator. The chasm between Recinda now and the baby dropped off at an orphanage based in Beirut, Lebanon, is large. She was profoundly changed by her adoption from an American family stationed in Izmir, Turkey, after a seven-year span of life at the orphanage. She had to become adaptive to a new language, an American way of living, as well as the many schools and locations that are an elementary part of military life.
Survival is the key component to Recinda’s life, even after leaving her adoptive family, as she was not prepared mentally for an enlarged worldview or life. She struggled with the
echos of the mental, physical, and sexual abuse of both the orphanage and her adoptive family.
Stephanie was born in the Chicago suburbs in June 1983 and adopted 4 days after birth. Her birth mother was 19 years old and was an employee of an attorney associate of her adoptive father's. Through a private adoption arranged by the attorney, Stephanie was placed into a loving adoptive family with two biological children (and later one adopted sister and one biological brother), both of whom were affected by Canavan Disease and passed away when she was still a child—an experience that shaped her deep sense of empathy but also her perspective on family, belonging, and loss.
Today, Stephanie is a mother of two girls and a family law attorney, and the founder of her own practice, where she helps individuals and families navigate the often-complicated transitions of divorce, parenting, and rebuilding. She serves as a Guardian Ad Litem advocating for children and assisting adopted children whose parents are going through the divorce process.
Stephanie is now reunited with her birth mother and her two half-brothers—an experience that has profoundly impacted her and brought her "out of the fog" while also presenting complexities in her relationship with her adoptive family.
Douglas Shaver was born at Florence Crittenton's Home for Unwed Mothers in Kansas City in 1968. He was adopted five weeks after birth. Though adopted into a loving and supportive family, he struggled with identity and with his place in the world. During middle school, his family moved to Saudi Arabia. It was during that time in the Middle East that he developed a passion and understanding of different cultures and the communities of people within those cultures. This passion–combined with a constant evaluation of his place in the world as an adoptee– may be what inspired his eventual career in Archaeology. That said, the timeline between the Douglas of Saudi Arabia and the Archaeologist-Douglas of today is punctuated by a series of significant events familiar, but profoundly affecting to many adoptees.
Suffice to say, as an adoptee, reunion and the effects of adoption trauma have played a significant role in the success and challenges in relationships throughout his life.
Through his own work on his adoption journey, Douglas has focused his energies on understanding adoption-related trauma within the adoption triad. And as mentioned previously, the interest spurred by always seeking to understand relationships played in part in his career in later years. Douglas currently works as an Archaeologist, traveling extensively throughout the United States for work. Two of his three children spend half their time with him, and his oldest lives with him full time. He decides his time between his work, travels, his children, and his partner.
S11, Ep. 20: Elena
Elena S. Hall is a Russian adoptee, author, social worker, and the voice behind the Instagram page @ThroughAdoptedEyes. She is passionate about her faith, finding joy amidst grief, and loves ice cream! Adopted at a year and a half into a family that was always open about adoption, Elena brings a unique blend of personal experience and professional insight to her work. She began writing Through Adopted Eyes in 2016—a collection of memoirs from adoptees reflecting on their journeys. She later created Through Adopted Hearts to offer a fuller picture of the adoption constellation.
Elena is also the author of the children’s books Adoption Is Both and My Adoptee Voice, designed to help families talk about adoption in ways that are honest, age-appropriate, and empowering. Through storytelling, education, and advocacy, she uses her platform to challenge simplified adoption narratives and create space for real, nuanced conversations. Whether you’re an adoptee, adoptive parent, or someone eager to learn, Elena’s work invites you to see adoption through a more thoughtful, empathetic lens—one that centers lived experience.
S11, Ep. 19: Charlotte
Charlotte Angeles was conceived during an affair that her biological father was having with her biological mother. She was born in Pasadena, CA, in 1987, and was held in her adoptive parents’ arms that same day. She knew from an early age that she was adopted - that her birth mother was very young and didn’t have the means to raise her alone - and her adoptive parents always offered a safe space to ask questions. But Charlotte didn’t decide to dive deeper until she gave birth to her first child in 2017. By that time, she had learned of the tragic way in which her birth mother had passed away just a few years prior.
She was, however, able to find and connect with her biological father in 2018. She has also met her biological half-sister and one half-brother. Additionally, she has connected with several of her birth mother’s siblings. Just this year, she received a very sentimental package from one of her birth mother’s sisters - an original sonogram that her birth mother had saved. Through all of these connections, many important questions have been answered, and she has gained so much insight into where a lot of her own behaviors and personality traits have come from.
Today, Charlotte works as a dental hygienist and continues to live in Los Angeles, where she was raised her whole life. One of her biggest dreams was to have her own biological children, and after multiple rounds of IVF, she and her husband have a beautiful son and daughter. She is confident in her identity now and has become more comfortable sharing her story over the past few years.
S11, Ep. 18: Kim
Award-winning author and journalist Kim Orendor was adopted at three months old. Her parents told her about the day she joined their family, along with other stories at bedtime. Kim continues to share her own story with others and has authored an adoption-themed young adult novel. She lives in Northern California.
Kim's YA fiction story "To Whom It May Concern" with an adoption theme, won the NextGen INDIE gold medal.