Sandra: Beyond the Happy Adoption
S13, Ep. 6: Sandra
Sandra was born in 1967 in St. Catharines, Ontario, Canada, during the baby scoop era, to a 16-year-old mother whose circumstances led to immediate relinquishment. After a short stay in foster care, Sandra was adopted by a wonderful family and became the youngest of two children. Like many adoptees of her generation, she grew up believing she had experienced a happy adoption, appreciating the life she
had been given without fully understanding the deeper emotional complexities of her beginnings. After being in reunion for 18 years, Sandra parted ways with her birth mother in 2020 and began the journey of coming out of the fog, healing, and self-discovery. Having always known she was adopted, never feeling like she fully belonged anywhere, and knowing deep down that adoption was at the root of her anxieties, fears, and lack of sense of self, the hard work to heal began. Her journey has become one of discovery, grief, compassion, and healing. She has learned that a happy upbringing and the complex emotions associated with adoption can coexist. Gratitude for the life she experienced does not negate the significance of her earliest loss.
Coming out of the fog has not been about rewriting her past, but about understanding it more fully. Today, Sandra continues to embrace her story with greater self-compassion.
Thank you to our Patrons! Join at the $10 level and be part of our monthly ADOPTEE CAFE community. The next meeting will be Saturday, November 21st at 1 pm ET.
RESOURCES for Adoptees:
Adoptees who identify as queer gathering in community on Zoom: For details, email adopteequeer@gmail.com and on Instagram.
Celia Center Inc., a non-profit organization in Los Angeles
supporting all members of the foster care and the adoption constellation.
Gregory Luce and Adoptee Rights Law
Fireside Adoptees Facebook Group
Dr. Liz Debetta: Migrating Toward Wholeness Movement
Moses Farrow - Trauma therapist and advocate
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline – 1-800-273-8255 OR Dial or Text 988.
